Month: May 2016

Being Mom

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Twelve years ago I never would have imagined that I would be a mom, let alone to three beautiful people .

Quintin changed the course of my life, having him at a very young age (for who I was at the time) was beyond scary. At the time I never would have thought that BECAUSE of him my life was not ending but rather beginning. Because of Quintin we brought Ki and Willow into our family (and if he had it his way we would be welcoming at LEAST one more, which is why he gets no say in this department!) and because of these three people counting on me I have worked hard to grow as a mother and as a person.

Every day I ask myself what I can do better, how can I make our time count, how can I teach them and guide them to be good, kind and confident people, how can I give them more good memories of their childhood than bad, how can I show them how much they are loved and wanted in this family.

Motherhood, to me, is a work in progress, some days just GLOW and refresh and make me swoon for more, others I hide in the bathroom for a few minutes to myself. I can honestly say though that the good always seems to outweigh the bad and the more I push myself to do better the happier I am and the more I can see my “work” in raising these people paying off.

I don’t question (as I used to) if I am a good mom, I know in my heart that I am a great mom, even on my bad days. I love these kids beyond measure and know that our time is short (unlike this post!)

I hope that all you great moms out there are able to sit back today and let yourself feel proud of the huge job you are doing each and every day as a mother.

Whether you are spending the day immersed in your children or taking time for yourself to catch your breath, I hope you all have a beautiful day .

***I will be the first to say it, these pictures are not great. They ARE however, the best we could do this time around! They feature my kids with me…so in that sense…they are perfect.

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The plans I had…

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My youngest child, my greatest challenge, right here.

When I was expecting her just over three years ago, I was so excited, I was absolutely BUZZING with the joy of soon having a new baby girl to not only love but to photograph. Oh the plans I HAD! 

Her closet and dresser were STOCKED. Cute hand knit newborn hats? my drawer was brimming with them. Photo ideas? the list was endless!

Then she was born, with a personality as fiery as the hair on her head.

Immediately she made clear who she was, what she wanted and what she absolutely without a doubt wanted NOTHING TO DO WITH.

Photo’s topped the list. Followed closely by clothes, hats were a definite NO and of course…being out of my arms.

To accurately describe just how challenging she is would be a book in itself, so I will spare you, but rest assured….this last child of ours has been no walk in the park. She is a tough nut, not about to be cracked by anyone (which in the long run could result well for her!) BUT we love her with all of our hearts. She has been the addition we needed and the crazy wild spirit we didn’t know we lacked. You truly never know what you will get when you are expecting a new little life, but it is a gamble worth taking.

After three years of resisting my camera VERY well, earlier this week she agreed. Happily agreed. She got dressed in actual clothing that I picked out (!!!!) and hopped down the street eager to have her picture taken.

Shocked and thrilled doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

Maybe this year my dreams of photographing her will start coming true and in the grand scheme of things…..it only took a three year warm up period.

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Better late than never

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When this girl was not yet born I had so many plans for pictures, posed, candid, in studio, out in the world, everything. As it turned out though she was not on board with a single one of those plans and so I patiently (not SUPER patiently but I tried…) waited and waited and finally, having just turned three, it is game on!

Okay so I don’t have all the baby pictures I hoped for, I missed half her toddler time, but late is better than never and I will be making up for lost time starting NOW!! 

Hope you don’t mind seeing a lot of her, because she has 1.5 years left home with me, so she will be in front of the camera a lot (fingers crossed).

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Beloved blankets

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Well playing with my youngest in her room the other day she picked up one of her beloved blankets (or as she has always called them “babies”) and I thought about putting the camera down and waiting for her to go back to what she was doing before, what I was happily photographing. I am so glad that I decided to keep shooting. This kid was born with a personality that I have never experienced and never expected (isn’t that the way of life?) and one of her many “things” is her desperate and passionate love for her blankets. I’ve heard of little ones being attached to lovies but never could have imagined such a fierce NEED to have one in her arms at. All. Times. ALL TIMES. Recently though I’ve noticed a slow decline…she can leave a room or even the house without one. They are not in her arms at every moment of the day. It hit me when I found this image that sooner than later she will yearn for a blanket in her arms for the last time. Eventually these will be washed, folded and never picked up by her again. If I had put my camera down when she picked that blanket up I could have missed a real moment, one that speaks volumes to her first three years. A meaningless snapshot to most people, this is a real and cherished memory for us.

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